collection of funny stories

Here is a collection of funny stories that will be updated to provide light entertainment for those of you who are working in an atmosphere of distress ... please enjoy this article....A collection of funny stories humor.

Funny story - Strange Medicine 
Patient: Doc, please help cure my disease. I often walk at bedtime.

Doctor: It's a box that can solve your problem. Every night, when you are getting ready for bed, sprinkle the contents of the box on the floor around your bed.

Patient: What is this box, Doc? whether a type of sedative powder? 
Doctor: Not. This box of tacks.

Patient: Ha! (with gawking eyes).

Funny story - failed to prevent pregnancy
A mother to see a doctor to check pregnancy... Doctors: Loh! it's mother the other day that check, is pregnant again?

Mother: yes doc?
Doctor: what is contraceptive that I gave the other day, does not you drink?. 
Mother: I drink doc!

Doctor: then why do mother can get pregnant??

Mother: yes, how do not want to get pregnant doc, drugs just to neck, my underwear is up to the knee.

Cockatoo 
In a bird shop, have 2 parrot. Both birds are different, which one likes to sing and the other one just silent, come someone wants to buy a parrot. He said to the bird seller: 
Buyer: How much is this parrot ...??

Seller: If that love to sing it 500 dollars, while is silent 1,000 dollars. 
Buyer: lho..why is bird that likes singing cheaper than that just stay quiet. 
Seller: yah .... clearly different because that silent bird is his song creator.

Crying of A Mother

A unfortunate family, finally figured out that one of their daughters to work as a prostitute in the big city.. The mother was sobbing. 
"Why are you crying?" neighbors asked, "What has happened has happened, that is important we always pray,, may she soon realized."
Wiping her tears away, the mother replied haltingly..."I weep not for that, but I was moved to tears because She was the only child of six siblings who eventually managed to get a job."

Funny story – Weapon eat master 
A reporter was covering the event of an accident. Because a lot of people who gathered around the crash site, the reporter can not break through to see the victim from close ..After thinking hard, the reporter get the idea. "move aside all, I am the victim's father!" he "Sure enough ..... the crowd let him pass. All eyes were directed to the journalist. (In the hearts of the journalist said:" It worked too!) When he reached the middle of the crowd, he was stunned to see ... a monkey child lying helplessly !

Wrong entering in the room 
hastily,a mistress into a room  that she thought it was the doctor's office. 
Mistress: "Doctor, what's wrong my body?"

a man: "Madam, you are too fat, your powder too thick, your lipstick is too red, your hair needs to be painted, you are too much smoke, and another..you are wrong into the room. doctor is in the next room. I am just newspaper carrier. "

Funny story - Divorced 
Judge: Why would you want get divorced?..Udin: It does not fit anymore, Mr. Judge.

Judge: Why could not fit anymore?indeed who has changed the size..

Students Harleys 

In class, a senior lecturer being berated his students:

Lecturer: "just answer only not capable, eh!!! instead joking and chatting casually. Answering questions is also no one knows, so it's useless this lecture, well .. Now who was dumb standing!!" The professor snapped. A few minutes there was silence.. Suddenly from the back seat a student standing. Lecturer: "So you are absolutely sure, you're the fool that???" No sir, I just can not bear to see Mr. lecturers stand alone."

Funny story policeman, prostitutes and a grandmother

Police raided several prostitutes ​​and herded them to the police station for questioning one by one.
because prostitutes who caught very much, queuing up to exit the police station fence. not long then, Gone are a grandmother who would buy kerosene.
due to see the crowds, the grandmother ask questions to prostitutes who stand at the very back of the queue.
granddaughter, you are in the queue for what ??

because ashamed to frank, the prostitutes replied casually, were queue for candy, Grandma.

prostitutes so shocked in fact the grandmother it was also queuing up.

prostitutes ask the question, what are you doing, Grandma?. Grandma would also queuing up candy, grandchild....short story the grandmother came their turn to be interrogated

so surprised the police officers to see grandmother who had been frail was counted in the queue prostitutes. 
with great care the police ask the question, what is grandma still able to? the grandmother replied with a vibrating tone because age that had old, if just sucking anyway, grandma still okay, grandchild .... !

Similarly, a collection of humorous stories this time, may be a mild-quality entertainment, and wait for the next article ...

The Funniest Story

The Funniest Story in the World

If you want funny stories, or humors funny that made laugh out loud. read a collection of humorous stories in the world are the following:

Photo Memories: One day in an elementary school,all students photographed together. After the photo was printed, teacher persuade children to buy their photo, one photo for each person. He also said to his students, "You should buy this photo because all your friends here complete collected. These photos will give you sweet memories. Someday when you grow up and mature and look at this photo, I'm sure you be happy. "

silent students didn’t say anything, and then the teacher continued, "Try to imagine, while you will see this photo and say," Oh this Tina, now become a doctor. This Totok, now become official, this tari is now become artist, this ... "
A male student behind interrupt, "this teacher  who is now deceased." 

Teacher: hah....?????..

War film producer: A Film producers wanted to make a huge war movie that involving up to thousands of people as extras. "I'm going to use the army for two squads for the battle scene. Each team will consist of 25,000 people," he revealed his desire.
While a director just fascinated with the plan, "It's Fantastic".
"But, how are you going to pay their salaries?, What is not a waste of money?," Said the director.
"I have figured out!," Said the producer. "That is why I would use live ammunition, not rubber bullets!"

How the thief to get into my house: A man went to the police station with the aim to meet the burglar who broke into his home last night and had been intending to steal. "Oh, do not be ... You will get the chance to speak with him on the court ... calm down do not be emotional," said a police officer on duty at the time.
"Oh, no, no ... not so!," Said the man. "I want to meet him only want to ask how he could get into my house without waking my wife?. Though I've tried it for many years, but it never worked."

Funny Story Udin who has 10 years of wandering in the Big City will return to his home in the village.
Three days before returning home, Udin call his sister and brothers were named Mat, Tiko and Jeny.

Udin: mat..!  I want to go home, what gifts you want?
mat: (somewhat hesitant) I want HP iphone 5, brother !!!
Udin: ahh .. it's the easy, I'll bring it. I want to speak to tiko, mat !!.. what was he there??
Tiko: Hello brother ..
Udin: Hello Tiko, I will be going home tomorrow, what gifts do you like?
Tiko: Well that really brother??? (Somewhat hesitant).. Tono just want a digital camera, brother..

Udin: That's easy, I will bring it tomorrow ... please,give phone to jeny,ko !! I want to speak to jeny,.. what was she there??
Jeny: Hello Udin ... (With a melodious voice)
Udin: what gifts do you want?
Jeny: I don’t need gifts ,brother ... I could borrow had Mamat and Tono...

Udin: No need hesitate... tell me what you want, jen..?!
Jeny: (with the sound was a little hesitant to answer) I fear trouble you, brother...
Udin: I ‘m not bothered, say what you want !!!
Jeny: well then Jeny want camisole ... brother

Udin: Ahh please do not that hard difficult Jen, which it simple as desired gift Mamat and Tono

Jeny: wahh .. you have a lot of money, haven’t you?

Udin: Not so well, jen .. If the camisole, I'll hard to steal it... I am ashamed of, if I later have to reached into female underwear ...

One day in the jungle.
Monkey: "Tarzan ..., why the hell are only you which wear pants? We all do not wear. There's a secret what the heck?"

Tarzan: "There's no secrecy!"

Monkey: "We're good friends. Why is there still secrecy?"

Tarzan: "I said nothing, means there is no secrets!"

Monkey are not satisfied with the answers of Tarzan. So he invites his friends to the his cottage Tarzan and lurking to find the secret of Tarzan.

As usual, before bathing Tarzan always open his pants(it is the only one his pants)

so the monkeys saw  Tarzan who naked, the monkeys was laughing until stomach pain. Monkey said, "No wonder he wears pants. Apparently he was embarrassed, because the his tail is in the front, short and small.! "

Housemaid
One day, a lady housekeeper came to her female employer.

Maid: "Madam, I want to ask for a raise!"
Employer: "Why do I have to raise your salary?"
Maid: "There are 3 reasons mistress .. First I cleaned the house cleaner than the mistress."
Employer: "Who says?"
Helper: "Sir sources say ma'am".
Employer: "Oh ..."
Maid: "Secondly, I cook better than the mistress."
Employer: "Who says?"
Maid: " Mr. who says to me."
Employer: "Oh ..."
Maid :: Third, I am in bed greater than the mistress. "

Employer: "Hah!!! What host that say?!?!! (With a bit suspiciously)"
Maid: "No ma'am .., but host next to house said, if mistress is less great in bed ""
Employer: "Ssssstt!!! how much do you ask for a raise..??”

Child custody
 A married couple was attending their divorce trial. In the trial will decide who gets custody of the child.
with screaming hysterically and jumping the wife said:
"Your Majesty, I have conceive and give birth this baby to the world's... with my pain and patience!! the child custody have to be mine! "

The judge said to the husband:

" What is your defense against the demands of your wife? "

The husband paused for a moment, in a flat voice he said:

"We are sorry Your Majesty, if I insert a coin into soft drinks vending machinethe engine will shake a moment, and drinks out, According to the noble, drinks it belongs to me or the machine?"

Big liar
A traffic policeman stopped the car of a man who raced at high speed through red lights.
Traffic Police: " Good evening sir. Please show your driver's license ".
Man: ""Wah, I do not have Sir. My driver's license has been revoked because too often ticketed ".
Traffic Police: (Grinning) "what is.? If so, please show the vehicle registration ".

Man: "I do not have a sir. Because this is not my car. This stolen cars ".

Traffic Police: " stolen Cars?"
Man: "Yes sir. But, wait a moment. If not mistaken, I see there is vehicle registration in the tool box in the back seat when I keep my gun in there "

Traffic Police: "Hah ...? There is a gun in the toolbox? "
Man: "Yes sir. I put my gun in there when I finished robbing and killing a woman and put her body in the trunk ".

Traffic Police: "There is a corpse in the trunk ..?"
Men: (With a cold face) "Yes sir ....".

Such hearing, the traffic policeman frantically called his supervisor who then contacted the police chief. a few minutes later, the car was immediately surrounded by police cars and police chief approached the man and asked him to stay calm.

Police chief: "May I see your driver's license, sir?"
Man: "Oh, sure". (Her license is still valid and official)
Police chief: "Whose car is this?"
Man: "My car sir. This is my vehicle registration ". (Also still in effect)
Police chief: "Can you open the tool box slowly and show me your gun in there?"
Man: "Of course sir, but no gun there". (Of course, there is no gun in there)
Police chief: "Hmm .. if so, may you open the trunk, please? I got a report that there was a body in there ".
Man: "Well sir ..." (Baggage opened and there was no body there.)
Police Chief: "I do not understand. The officer stopped the your car and said you did not have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the toolbox, rob and carry the corpse in the trunk ".
Man: "Oh, what he said like that.? I'm sure the big liar also told you that I was still drove in a red light. "

source of article : http://bonksays.blogspot.com/2013/07/Funniest-Stories.html